I’ve had a rough month, and that has kept my internet presence to a very minimum lately. I won’t go into the details because they’re fairly irrelevant to my blog, but as rough as it’s been, I feel like it’s given me some direction and opened up opportunities that I never would have thought of before. So really, that rough month that I originally felt was holding me back was probably the best rough patch I’ve ever been through, and I’ve been very thankful for the learning opportunities.
Although my internet presence has been low, that certainly doesn’t mean my overall goals have been put on hold- in fact, I feel that it’s had an opposite effect. I guess sometimes you just need a change of pace to really open up some doors.. it’s just all in how you perceive it and decide to handle it that determines whether you’re able to use something that’s probably fairly negative at first glance to your advantage.  I’d actually recently watched a Chatty Tuesday video by Alex Beadon that discussed exactly that topic.
During my internet hiatus, I’ve been considering more and more how I would like to run my business in the future- like in great detail. I feel like in the past, I had the tendency to hold myself back as far as the “taking action” thing goes- I didn’t feel ready, I didn’t feel like it was quite time (maybe it wasn’t then), and I didn’t have a whole lot of faith in myself or my abilities. I also felt overwhelmed, and as a short-statured, quiet voiced, and fairly timid individual all around, I felt that I needed to tread lightly until other people would see me as a legitimate adult rather than a young person who’s meant to be jerked around (I’m 25 years old, and I still struggle with seeing myself as an adult, or even feeling like I’m being taken seriously).  The thing is, once I stopped really caring so much about all of that, I noticed that there are people who actually take me seriously. That was a pretty exciting realization, and as cheesy as it sounds, it helped me to realize that by not believing in myself, I am holding myself back. This has helped me become even more excited about the prospect of really getting into the business side of things.
Of course, ever since I started photography, I’ve loved the artistic side of it. But I felt totally lost on the business side of things. “What do I do? What do I need?? How do I keep from becoming one of those half-talent, trying to make a quick buck kind of shooters, and rather build my business the right way, but from literally nothing except a passion for the work, hours and hours of reading up on it, and a little bit of creative planning? Well… I guess my last question kind of answered itself.  As far as the passion goes… I think I might drive my family and my husband crazy with my photography-related one track mind. I fear I might become a boring person to people not interested in photography, because that’s really all my brain wants to think about and all my hands and eyes want to do.  That brings me to the hours and hours of reading up. I really got into this habit because I wanted to know EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD about the topic. The technical side, the artistic side, the business side, and the legal side. I’d often get discouraged, thinking “how on EARTH am I going to put all of this into action??” You have no idea how many lists I have made, how many pages and blogs I’ve book marked, and how many photography related topics, terms, and techniques I’ve googled.  Suddenly, all of it started making sense in my brain, and I started getting a super concrete vision of what I wanted to make my business into. And HOW to do that. Of course I’ll have lots of things to work on and put into action as I go, but more on those later.
Then there was the realization that I had already been subconsciously implementing a lot of what I’d been soaking up, and as I put out more work, I got more and more inquiries. Of course I haven’t had every single person follow through, but the ones who have were SO worth my time and effort, and I’ve even piqued interest in some of their friends and family. I’ve been working mainly for portfolio material so far, until my dad subtly indicated that because of the quality of the images I’ve been putting out lately and the interest I’ve been seeing, I needed to kind of get in gear and turn it into my living, rather than just a really, REALLY expensive hobby.
So, my goal is to stop doubting myself and my abilities, and to start really building a legitimate business that will be able to be in full swing by October. It’s pretty daunting, but looking back shows me how much of it makes more sense than I ever thought it could.

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3 responses to “

  1. Once again, I can relate to everything you have just said. Feeling overwhelmed by it all, feeling like you need to tread lightly, bookmarking tons of pages with resources, making list upon list of things you’d like to eventually tackle… yup. I’ve done it all too and I continue to do it. I think realizing this and making these lists (which are essentially goals) is already a step in the right direction. And there’s no need to do EVERYTHING at once either. Take your time and do it right 🙂 Quality over quantity any day! And I hope you take those risks. You’ve got the talent and the passion, so now really it’s just a matter of getting out there. I look to you for inspiration 🙂

    Also, I hope the non-blog stuff that made it a tough month has gotten better.

    • Thank you so much! Again, while I don’t enjoy hearing that others are feeling the negative feelings I tend to feel, it does make it easier to know that I’m not the only one who feels that way. Especially when it’s coming from someone with as much talent as you! It’s funny how we perceive ourselves compared to how we actually come across in a lot of cases. When I read your posts (unless you blatantly state otherwise), I interpret your words as coming from a very confident artist with endless amounts of positivity and charisma (which is why I love reading your blog)! But since you ARE an artist, I know that you too have those same types of insecurities that I have and feel are so very obvious to everyone around me (although I’m not sure if it shows. haha). I really think that even though feeling insecure and doubting yourself is in itself a negative thing, it’s part of the growing process and really drives an individual to try to do their very best. One of my goals is to never become satisfied with my own abilities. Not that I want to be down on myself, I just want to never say “yep.. I’m good enough” and stop trying to better myself.
      You truly are an inspiration to me also! I can tell by reading that you have a kind heart, and you radiate positivity and appreciation for the beauty around you. So thank you so much for sharing that with the world! 🙂

    • Oh, and thank you!! It definitely has gotten better. As a matter of fact, it was a bit of a “forging” experience. Though it was unpleasant at the time, I see how much positivity came from it, and I’m ever so thankful for it! 🙂

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